


Little Games

by fangirl0verboard



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dom/sub, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love/Hate, Relationship(s), Rough Sex, Sex, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-08 23:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10398783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl0verboard/pseuds/fangirl0verboard
Summary: You [Ashley/reader replaceable name] were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and hitched a ride straight into Negans line up in the woods. When he takes you back to Sanctuary, he has ideas of what to do with you, but you have your own ideas - and you want out. A strange relationship builds, but can you really tame a man with such power? What do you have to give up before you've completely given up, and is your dignity a fair trade for safety?





	1. You were always going to end up here.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the first I've written in over TEN YEARS welp. Please be kind and PLEASE tell me where to improve! Lots of ideas for this, it was be ten chapters or more ok, so if you enjoy please bookmark and look for updates! <3
> 
> The characters name is written in as Ashley but is reader replaceable! You can replace Ashley with your name, I just find it easier to write this way!

Your head was pounding when you opened your eyes, and found yourself with your hands tied behind a pillar in the middle of a cold, grey room. The lights above you were overpowering, a yellow colour which bounced off the grey walls and made your skin looked even more pale and washed out underneath the crumbled, dry blood spatters on your right side. You had been kneeling just two heads away from the older, orange haired man, who you witnessed having his head pulverized and smashed to pieces by a baseball bat that was enveloped in barbed wire. You had forgotten this man’s name, and the name of the other guy who was at the mercy of the bat, and for that you felt awful. Ahead of you there was a door way, it looked like a cell door, but it was propped open. You were still coming to, and you could hear that voices were being exchanged beyond the door. They were the voices that took you, and the voices of the men who killed those people.

“When she wakes up, someone needs to be here… I can smell a shit storm on the breeze and it isn’t going to be very fucking pretty.” The first man huffed, you recognized his voice as the one wielding the bat, your breath caught in your mouth as you felt bile beginning to gather and burn your esophagus. Fear washed over you and heat prickled your skin violently. You were perfectly justified to be afraid, and would be even more justified to have pissed yourself right there and then on the spot.

You had, no longer than a few hours ago, watched him murder two people and humiliate several others – for a reason unbeknownst to you. And now he was outside the door, and you were his captive. What the fuck would you do to get out of this.

“Sir, in the clearing… she said she hardly knew the people from Alexandria. They picked her up roadside literally that same day. That would mean that she was with them for a couple of hours at most. She isn’t lying either, there was a map in her rucksack – marked places she’d been to already she’d crossed off. Doesn’t look like she settles down anywhere.” The voice wasn’t wrong. The second man to talk, he was a henchman, you thought you could remember his voice too. They had figured you out pretty quickly, you kept moving when supplies ran low, and the only reason you had been trembling in that clearing was because you were catching a ride as far as they could take you on their journey, but they ran into big trouble. You should never have flagged down that RV, they almost didn’t let you on, you wished they didn’t. Fucking typical, you thought, hindsight is such a bitch.

“Well, it shouldn’t be too difficult for me to explain to her why I bashed in their skulls and sent them on their merry fucking way, right? Explaining why we took her will be harder but if she’s smart then she’ll get it. When she comes to, radio me, Simon, I’ll be upstairs in my quarters.”

“Yes sir, will do.” You could hear the footsteps parting ways, one moving toward the cell door and one away. No matter what happened now, the man called Simon was coming in and the man with the bat was coming back to question you. What was the point in delaying the inevitable? Would cooperation be your best shot? 

“I’m awake,” you cried hoarsely “you don’t have to leave, I’m awake.” Simon appeared in the doorway, reaching for his radio, and you looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and terror in your wincing face.

“Simon you idiot, I’m right behind you, you don’t need to radio me.” The other man walked past Simon with his bat in his hand, slowly approaching you. Negan, that was his name, it came back suddenly and with a pang of terror as your eyes met his. What was this man going to do to you. You damned yourself for getting caught up in such a mess. Lifting your head towards the ceiling, you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply, as though it was the last breath you were allowed to take.

“You remember my name, don’t you, sweetheart?” He said, his voice gravelly and low. Ugh, why was he calling you sweetheart? When you opened your eyes, he was towering right over you, the murder bat raised under your chin to keep you from looking away from him. Those eyes, it was like they looked right into your soul

“You’re Negan. Your bat is called Lucille. I don’t know what the time is right now, but last night you killed people and threw me into the back of one of your trucks. I don’t know why any of that happened, but here I am now.” You talked with a sense of calm and diplomacy, his eyes studied you further. Deep brown eyes, piercing right into yours. His mouth curled into a grin, and a gloved hand stroked his grey and black beard.

He breathed out hard, “I am SO glad you paid attention! Good girl! I’m sorry that you’re all tied up right now, but we had to take some precautions with you because you were travelling with those guys from Alexandria! You should be glad that you are here, because those guys are very bad news. Technically, if you are the person that you say you are, then we saved you. SO, remind me, who are you?”

“You’ve got it right. I’m travelling alone; I have been for a long time. I didn’t know them. I just caught a ride from them, it was dark and I was cold. I have nobody else. Please, tell me, why did you kill those peop-“

“I will ask the questions for now, sweetheart.” Negan kneeled to your level and rested a knee between your splayed legs, positioning himself nose to nose with you. You could feel his warm breath cascading around your neck as he brought Lucille closer to your face. He had cleaned it since the clearing, slowly and gently, he pressed Lucille against your cheek. Your diplomatic calm cracked, and you whimpered like a dog. This made him smile again, and this time he flashed his pearly white teeth along with his smile, “The ladies normally make those sounds when they’re lying on their backs with their legs spread wider than this. You feeling as vulnerable as you look right now...? Hot fucking DAMN my manners! I didn’t even ask your name!”

This wasn’t good, you thought, your breathing was increasing rapidly and your heartbeat was pounding - so hard that you felt like you were going to lose consciousness. This man was so big and imposing, and he made you feel so small and weak. You choked out words,  
“I’m Ashley.”

“Well, Ashley. Here is the good news! I believe you, I think you’re telling me the truth, and I don’t believe that you were with those people for longer than a few hours. The other bit of good news is, that we did in fact, do you a favor.” Negan began, he talked a lot, and he talked quickly but he believed you. He said he believed you, maybe this was going to turn out better than it looked like it was, all you had to do was not fuck it up.

“I want to know why you killed –“

“SPEAK ONLY when I speak TO you, Ashley. Don’t fucking interrupt me…” Your heart was in your throat, way to go for ‘not fucking it up’. Why couldn’t you ever think before you spoke? Negan pushed Lucille against your cheek firmly now, so that her wire barbs began to sting you, he continued “I killed those men. I killed red, and I killed the kid for them all stepping out of line… but you’ve GOT to know that they deserved it. I was justified in what I did, did they tell you how many of my men they killed?”

“They didn’t, they said there were a group and that they were called the Saviours. They said the Saviours were bad, and that I needed to get as far away as I could…” You spoke through tears now, crying in fear after interrupting him and making him raise his voice. Negan’s shouting was loud, he was brash and also clearly unpredictable. He shouted like a school teacher.

“We are NOT the bad guys, Ashley. They killed a lot of my men, broke into one of our bases and killed every single fucking person in there. They STOLE from us, they took lives and munitions, and that kind of shit does not go over well with me. Last night, your fuckin’ tour guide Rick, got on the road to redeeming himself for what he and his people have done. He works for ME now, but that leaves you.”

Yes, of course it did, of course it left you. The shrapnel, wrong place wrong time, collateral damage, always-in-the-way you. It was typical, you thought, you had done well to make it this far after the infected. You couldn’t be mad at yourself for surviving, even if this was going to be the end.

You had one last shot at getting out of this alive.

“What do you want from me? Please, I had nothing to do with them - apart from just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had no loyalties, only to myself. I was just trying to get to somewhere, anywhere. I’m sorry, for what they did, but it wasn’t me. If you let me leave, I’ll never go to them and I’ll never come back here, either. That’s a promise, you can trust me. Please Negan.” You were begging, something you’d never had to do, begging for your life.

“Oh. Fuck… Sweetheart, you beg so nice. I could listen to that all day long. I’m going to make you a promise now, too…” Had you actually done it? Was Negan going to let you go? He believed you that you were never travelling with them, or part of their group before tonight… so why would he have any reason to disbelieve you now as you begged for his mercy? Negan snorted a laugh through his nose and whispered into your ear, “I promise that YOU won’t be going anywhere. You get to keep your life only if you stay here. This is your home now, I own you.”

Negan smiled from ear to ear, he looked deep into your eyes and watched your terror erupt in the form of tears rolling silently down your cheeks. He raised his thumb, and wiped some of the tears away. He threw his head back, and then chuckled, “Baby, you were never in the wrong place at the wrong time, you were always going to end up here with me.”


	2. Make the better choice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're Negans prisoner, and it's time for you to find out what the man wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've uploaded this chapter in quick succession to the first to give you all a bit more to go on. I hope that's ok, and I hope you enjoy. I would love any pointers or comments! <3

Negan gestured for Simon to untie you, but you were hyperventilating and struggling against him, trying to make it as difficult as you could for him to get a handle on you. You didn’t know how much fight you had in you, as your erratic breathing started to cause you to weaken and an anxiety attack loomed over you. Through coughs, shouts and tears, you began to crumble. Your legs weren’t strong enough, and you had to resist. You tried to stand and steady yourself as Simon kept a firm grip on you and dragged you up on to your feet. When you were up, he tied your hands again. You weren’t strong enough and clearly fighting back was out of the question - but there would have to be a time when it was possible. You didn’t know what these people had in store for you, and for Negan to say he ‘owned you’, well what did that mean?

The information was racing around in your mind faster than you could make sense of it, the gravity of what was happening kept on getting more and more real with each passing moment – and that’s when your heart didn’t pump the blood to your brain fast enough. Black spots appeared in front of your eyes, you felt yourself dropping to the floor, and you were out.

\---

Your eyes opened as you came back around from collapsing. There he was again, in the corner of the room, with Lucille propped against the side of the pine green armchair he was sitting in. He stared at you intently, and sighed as he noticed you stirring. Your heart rate started to elevate again.

“You sure as shit want to make my life difficult, don’t you baby? Be careful, you hit your head when you passed out, so get up slowly sweetheart.” Negan pushed himself forward in the chair as you began to slowly lift your head. You weren’t tied up anymore, your restraints had been taken away and you thought about your chances at freedom for a split second, before realizing you must have actually been fucking brain dead for even considering that with Negan sat in front of you.

“Where is this, Negan? Where are we?” you asked. The room was relatively small, with white walls and a kitchenette area and green furnishings. There was a pristine television in the corner, there was a radio and also a bookshelf. You were lying on a small, single bed and the room obviously had electricity running to it because the lights were switched on. You hadn’t seen anything with electricity in a really long time, apart from back in the cell, did that mean that the television worked?

“This is yours… If you want it. Now, usually when people work for me they sleep in sort of like a hostel. Lots of beds, and no private functions all to themselves, like a toilet and a shower… which by the way you have right over there.” Negan pointed to the only part of the room you hadn’t looked at, sure as he said it, there was a door there leading into a bathroom.

“There’s a catch, isn’t there? Back then…. wherever we were before I passed out, you said you ‘own’ me. What does that mean? No one owns me.” You didn’t know what to make of all this, there was surely going to be some compromise for this kind of living arrangment.

“Despite what you might think of me after what you saw back in the clearing – I am a really fucking nice guy. I’ve got needs, and the world has pretty much ended. It’s a very rare thing to find a beautiful woman now.” Negan stood and began to approach you, he was trying to woo you? He was calling you beautiful? “You, Ashley, have absolutely nothing to lose apart from your life. I however, can offer you safety, security, comfort and the time of your life whenever I need it.”

This man was insane, you thought. Insane and terrifying. You were afraid of him, obviously, after seeing the killings in the clearing you knew first hand that he didn’t have the capacity for mercy. He was asking you to be his sex toy, was that it? What would he do to you if you fought back? You weren’t strong, you were smart and fast but you didn’t have strength like that, especially not to take on him – a man over six feet tall and as heavy as him, no chance. Then, almost like Negan was reading your thoughts about overpowering him, it happened.

You were still laying on the bed, afraid to sit up, when he reached the bedside. In a flash, Negan had swung his right leg over your body and gripped your forearms, pinning them down as he mounted you. Frozen to the bed, you didn’t know what to do, you couldn’t shout or scream because nothing would come out and you guessed no one would help. Your heart began to race again as he proved his unpredictable nature to you once more. His eyes looked thirsty and lustful, and in his smile you could tell how much he was loving seeing your fear, like he was thriving off it.

“Sweetheart, I’m not going to hurt you. Here’s one of my rules, I don’t fuck women if they don’t say yes. The other rule is that I don’t hurt them, unless they deserve it. You’ve done nothing wrong. The only reason I’m straddling you to the bed right now is to show you that I’m strong, stronger than you… and that even with my clothes on, I’ll make your pussy throb...” He was grinning, and you didn’t know what to make of him at all, he leaned right into your ear, “… Look at what you’re missing out on. All this and me. Hot steamy showers, clean clothes, protection. All you have to do, is say ‘yes’ to me.”

“What are my other options?” You whispered and closed your eyes, and noticed that your heartbeat had begun to regulate since he mounted you and pinned you down, he wasn’t hurting you. You didn’t understand what the hell was happening here. Did Negan just want a fucking girlfriend? For a moment you thought about it, about saying yes, against your own will. This man must have been in his late forties, there had to be 25 years between you. You are much younger than he is and that’s obviously why he’s playing the ‘protector’ card with you. You saw him kill people, he doesn’t fuck around. You hardly knew those people but you saw them die. You’d seen many people die, but this man only hours ago murdered them, and now he was on top of you, and you were at his mercy,  
“Are there other options, Negan?”

“I love it when you say my name! IF you say no, Ashley, then you work FOR me. Won’t be nice work, though. You’ll be living in rags and earning points to eat or buy anything from the marketplace. With me, you’re a Very Fuckin’ Important Person. Without me, step a toe out of line and well, you know how bad it can be.” Negan shifted his weight slightly on top of you, pressing closer to your body, your heart starts to race again. His grip on your arms loosed, and for some reason your hands slide to where they automatically find his waist. You don’t even know you’ve done it until he raises his eyebrows and hovers his face over yours.

“Baby,” he chuckles “you’re touching me? I didn’t know what the fuck to expect… I thought it was going to be a knee in the ball sack but, are you caressing my waist...?” You quickly gasp and take your hands away. Your mind is boiling over and your heart keeps racing.

“Negan, I… I think I need to consider this offer, as in fully consider it. I saw you kill people, despite your reasoning for it, all you’ve done so far is frighten me. I’m not going to lie to you, I’m afraid of you, and I’m afraid that you’re going to hurt me.” You try to reason with him, to buy yourself time possibly but really you don’t know what you are thinking, it all seems mad. He’s already told you that he isn’t letting you leave this place; these are the options he’s given you. 

“Well, I’ll let you have a short time to think. Until the end of the day. I’ll arrange a tour for you, of the compound and the grounds, that way you’ve got your options to consider. I’d like you to take a shower and clean up, but before that…” Negan grabbed your face, without force but with enough power to hold you still, he pushed his lips against yours hard. You tried to gasp for a breath and as your lips part he pushes his tongue into your mouth, exploring wildly. You don’t know if the shock is what stops you from pushing him away, or if the sensation is. This is something you haven’t had in a long time, “…Consider that option, baby. You won’t regret it.”

Negan swiftly dismounts you and walks a little way from the bed, he grabs his radio from his back pocket and clicks a button, “Simon, I’ve got a job for you buddy. Come up to room 236, as quickly as possible. If you’re doing something else, drop it now, this is top priority.” He places his radio back into his pocket, and picks up Lucille, resting her over his shoulder. His gaze turns to you, and with a slight lean in his back he chuckles, “Baby, you so fucking enjoyed that.”

You look at him from underneath a furrowed brow. Who is this man? You’ve fully established that he’s Negan, but why is he here? What are his intentions? Pushing yourself up from the bed, you look over at the kitchenette. Water. You approach the taps, turn the faucet and splash your face with warm and then cold water, finally you drink the cold water from your palms. The door to the room opens, Simon enters, he looks alert and serious.

“Boss.” He nods to Negan, and turns to you, to give you a small nod of acknowledgment also.

“Simon, I’m going to need you to watch our lovely Ashley here! I’m going to run down to get her some really nice clothes to wear, she’s going to shower. You’ll make sure she doesn’t try to escape our lovely compound BEFORE she’s had a chance to see it in all its glory. Tour the whole place, BUT, have her come to my quarters for dinnertime. Got it?” Negan firmly smacks him on the shoulder as he leaves the room shouting that he’d be back in ten.

You shower for fifteen minutes only, but it felt like a whole day at the spa. Simon was guarding outside the door to the room, so you dress yourself quickly and quietly. Your hair is damp and falling all around your shoulders, but the compound was warm, you tie it up into a bunch and hope it dries quickly. You feel relieved not being covered in blood, sweat and dirt anymore. Opening the door to the room, you sigh and meet Simons gaze.

“I’m sorry that you’re stuck with me, Ashley. As you’ve guessed by now, I’m Simon, I work right alongside Negan. I’m going to show you around, and I sure as hell hope you make the better choice.” Simon was quirky, clearly an obedient servant of Negan, but he had a cheery disposition.

“What’s the better choice, Simon?” You ask him, and tilt your head.

He lets out a loud laugh and replies, “Well, I’d sure kiss the man if I were a girl.”


	3. Or you kneel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan proves to you that he knows how to get exactly what he wants, and this puts you in the worst position possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS this is a NSFW chapter and omg I have so much anxiety uploading this so please be kind. I'm uploading because I've had 200 hits on this fic, and as I've pre written a few chapters this makes it easy - I should have a steady pace soon, as long as people are reading I'll write but I still don't know how you all feel about this so let me know..! <3

You weren’t hearing a lot of Simons words and you slowly walked around the compounds living quarters, it was all just hallways with doors and rooms. You instead thought about the situation you were in and what the hell you could do about it. You thumbed absent mindedly at the hem of the floaty blue dress that Negan had left for you. It looked fucking cool with the combat boots you were wearing, but why had he put you in a dress? How impractical was a dress that fell to just above your knees?

“Hey Ashley, your fidgeting is really driving me crazy, can you not?” Simon clasped your hand to stop you, and shook you from your trance.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I don’t do well when I’m anxious Simon, I’ll try not to…”

“You know, it’s fine. I’m sorry, I can’t expect you not to feel super fucking out of place right now and it IS all our fault. Trust me though, you’ll warm up to us. Here we go, here’s our trading hall…” Simon walked you over the balcony where you had a view of a room about the size of a football field. It was full of people, most dressed in drab clothing, some were dressed for combat and strapped with guns. There were tables and tables of traders, you didn’t know what to make of it, “You can tell the difference between who just lives here and who REALLY lives here, right?” Simon looked at you and raised his eyebrows, as if to say that you don’t want to be like the ones who wear the rags.

As you moved along the hallway you saw several other doors into other random rooms, they look like rec rooms to you but Simon doesn’t bother to enter them. They must not have been anything special. He takes you down a staircase and into another large room, a cafeteria. People are lining up for food, and only then does it hit you that this place is full of people, full to the brim. You turn to Simon, “H…how many people live here?”

“Pffft, fucking lots. Negan has the census log but fucked if I know the actual total. We lost a lot though, because of Alexandria.” He starts off with a smile and you notice it quickly turns to a frown.

“Negan, he… he’s in charge? Of all these people?” You stutter.

“Yes he fuckin’ is.” Simon smiled. In the cafeteria you notice three women, all wearing tight black dresses, all looking in your direction. You smile at them and raise your hand in a small wave, one girl smiles a small smile, before they all turn their backs on you. You wonder what their problem is, and carry on after Simon. He continues to take you into the courtyard. Now you understand just how big this place is, there are gates, fortified with walkers… using the dead to protect themselves. You swallowed and sighed.

“This place, it’s safe…” You say, breathing out hard in a sigh.

“Fuckin’ safe as shit, baby. Come up here sweetheart, we are going to eat lunch. That dress looks fucking wonderful on you.” Negan called to you from up on the stairs to the balcony. He was still wearing the same outfit as he had been earlier. Clearly a busy man has no time to change his clothes, you think, that or he has seven versions of the same outfit and red scarf. You climbed the stairs and walked back along the balcony, but turned in a direction you’d hadn’t gone yet with Simon. As you walked past the cafeteria, you began to notice from your peripherals that people seemed to be crouching, you didn’t look back as you were trying hard to keep your pace with Negan… until you walked through the trader’s hall where Negan turned to you with a smile, “Watch this, it is fucking awesome.” He stopped on the stairs, and one by one as every single person in that hall started to notice – they dropped to their knees in front of him.

Your lips part and eyes widen and you feel amazed, skeptical and horrified all at once. You ask yourself again, who is this man? How does he have this power? Negan turns his back on the kneeling crowd, and begins to walk towards you. He places his arm around your shoulder guiding you where he wants you to go, you keep watching the crowd and notice how none of them begin to stand until Negan is pretty much out of sight again.

“Negan… how the fuck?” You lose your words and Negan laughs.

“Baby, I TOLD you. I’m not the bad guy. I really hope you’re hungry, I can’t wait to eat.”

You glance at him and let out a snort, “Are you SURE, you’re hungry? Did your ego not just get fed enough to last you a life…?” Your words become mush at the end of your sentence, you were both out of anyone else’s sight. Negan turns to you and backs you quickly into the compound wall with both of his arms caging you in on either side of your head. You’ve fucking done it now, you big mouthed twat, you thought. Collateral damage at the hands of this insanely powerful man at the end of the world.

“You want to play with me, baby? Because if you want to run your mouth… you can run it where it’s going to be much more beneficial to me.” Negan was curling his lip again and closing in on your face. You try hard to fight the churning sensation in the pit of your stomach, but you can’t.

“Stop!” Assertion wasn’t your strong point, but it took Negan by surprise, “Negan, you can’t try to reel me in with… well… you and your –“

“My wonderful sense of humor? My handsome fuckin’ face? My charisma and my charm? What?” He began to brush his hand down the side of your face, slowly.

“You’re not playing fair, Negan! This is my decision, you said it yourself. I get to choose, don’t I?” You hold his hand and push it down to his side.

“Baby, it’s all fun and games, until you actually have to make that choice. Then it could go either way. If you’re a smart girl like I can tell you are, you know that a small sacrifice can bring about the greater good. Let’s eat.” Negan seemed to tone down at your resistance. God, you were still so confused. This man was so powerful, and you had no idea how he had got to where he was. How had he made all of this? There must have been something in him, to want to build a sustainable life where people are protected, surely he wasn’t all that bad? Trying to reason that this man was good was hard when you had only hours ago seen the extent of the damage he could cause. 

Negan opened what had to have been the main door to enter his part of the compound, and you follow him eagerly through the rooms in his quarters, which are better decorated than any other part of the whole compound. He had all of the best things, the best television set and random items of memorabilia, you guessed he got first pick of everything. 

“Here’s where we eat, sit down sweetheart, get comfortable.” He led you into a dining room, it wasn’t grand, but cozy. There were already bottles of red wine, glasses and candles on the table, he pulled a chair out for you and gestured you to sit down. He made his way to the other side if the table, just opposite you and you watched as he slowly unraveled his scarf from his neck, and peeled his leather jacket from his arms. Tattoos decorated him, and you gulped at the sight of his toned, tan skin.

“So,” he began “I’ve done this because yesterday was fucking traumatic for you, baby. I want to show you that I’m not a fuckin’ monster. I don’t just kill people for no reason. You know that in this world, sometimes we have to kill to protect ourselves, the dead aren’t our enemies in the way that the living are. I’m sure that by now, you can tell… I’ve got a lot of respect here. I do RIGHT by my people, the Saviours, this place is called The Sanctuary… you’d be safer here than anywhere else. Try the wine. Anyway, like I said, it is your fuckin’ choice, you can have this or you can have what you saw out there in the halls. There’s no going back if you make the wrong decision. Good wine, right?”  
“It’s delicious wine,” as you spoke people brought out bread to the table and began setting down forks, “I’m looking forward to eating.”

You ate food with Negan, it was fish, potatoes and vegetables, and it was delicious. He was a perfect stranger, but so strangely, eating dinner with him at that moment was the most normal you’d felt in years. The fear you’d been feeling just a few hours before had begun to slip away. It was a blissful evening, and the wine slipped down as easily as the conversation flowed. You talked about before the end of the world, not about people that you had lost – he didn’t want to talk about anything that. You talked about television and film, about sports and countries all over the world. Somewhere during the second bottle of red wine, you took a moment to admit quietly to yourself that he was completely rugged and almost too handsome, and that his being more than twice your age wasn’t something that worried you. Was this the tradeoff that Negan was offering to you? It started to seem like a small price to pay. After not drinking alcohol in so long, you realize that you probably should’ve asked for water.

After you had finished eating, Negan stood and smiled, “I have one more thing to show you,” he gestured, “come with me baby.” He scooped Lucille up and slid the bat into his belt loop before he led you back through the corridors, your head was fuzzy and things seemed to become less and less real the move you moved. The doors in the hallways seemed to blur around the edges, and you had to jog slowly to keep up with his strides. You lost your bearings completely, and had no idea where in the Sanctuary you were. Negan stopped at a set of metal doors, and the Saviours guarding them opened them up without hesitation – after kneeling for him, of course.  
“This, is the armory,” Negan sighed a happy sigh and smiled that big smiled he kept on doing when he saw the look of astonishment on your face at all those guns. Boxes of ammunition, and rows and rows of guns, they must have been collecting them for a long time. There were so many, you look back at Negan and he smiled at you,

“Baby girl… You’ll be safe here.”

\---

Negan took you back to the room that he had originally offered you to stay in, entered behind you and closed the door. Resting both his hands on your arms, he laughs, “Oh shit, that wine huh? I can tell it got you going… but baby, in all seriousness.”  
He wanted his answer, he did say until the end of the day, somewhere in your mind you’d thought maybe you’d have been able to slip away from this place before they had even noticed. That thought had been pushed out of your head, this place was a fortress and Negan was king of the castle.  
Negan places a hand on your cheek, and brushes your hair back behind your ear with the other.  
“You said you own me, if that’s the choice I make, tell me more about that. The concept of owning a person.”

“Baby, you either kneel TO me in obedience on one knee, or you kneel to me for other reasons on both knees. Regardless, I own everyone here. It’s your choice. If you want to be with me, be safe and protected… you say yes and that’s it. We spend time together and if you hadn’t caught on already, we fuck.” By this point Negans thumb has found you lip and is rubbing gently away at the soft flesh. You close your eyes and sigh.

This is a life, you think. There is food, there is shelter, there is safety. For a compromise, and that compromise was your body. Was the king of the Saviours really asking you to be his queen? It all seemed so absurd, you’d met this man hours ago in horrible circumstances, all he knew about you was that he liked the look of you - is that what a relationship looked like in the apocalypse?

“How am I meant to make such a big fucking decision?” You look into his piercing brown eyes, and sigh, but with anger.

“Baby, for fuck sake,” suddenly he lifts you up by the waist and charges you towards the bed, setting you down on it and mounting you as he did earlier, quickly and without hesitation “Just say yes and I’ll show you why you said yes.”

This is my last shot at living, you think, the pressure killing you. To feel alive for even just a time, in all of this, it had to be worth it. Right?

“Yes. I’m with you.” As soon as the words leave your lips, Negan’s fingers wrap around the waistband of your underwear and pull them away in a heated flurry. You feel his hand come into contact with your sex and he quickly and gently begins to slap the area until you can feel yourself throbbing. A finger parts your lips and then enters you with haste, then a second finger, and a third. His hands are so big, you can feel every little touch he makes as he rubs his fingers rhythmically inside your pussy and against your spot. As you expected, your body very quickly begins to shudder, you haven’t had this in such a long time, it was too much for you to handle. You grip him tightly and whimper “Negan, I’m going to come… fuck!” The pitch in your voice heightens as you feel your muscles contracting around his hands, he feels it too, he grunts in urgency and begins to tear at the belt on his trousers. When they reach his ankles, he presses himself against you. You’re startled, Negan doesn’t wear any underwear, you thought there might have been another layer of fabric before his manhood collided with your naked body. Warm, wet flesh on flesh, he was rock hard and he was big.

“I fuckin’ KNEW you wanted it,” he breathed into your ear “baby, show my dick how wet that fuckin’ pretty little pussy is.” He bucked his hips against yours hard and you feel him sliding slowly into you - you both moan, you in shock and awe, and him in release. You were enveloped in his grip and your eyes met his, the look in his eyes was indescribable, it was lust and power. This is what having sex with a man 25 years your senior is like, you think. Gripping his shoulders tightly as he thrusts into you, you melt into him and make sounds that you never heard yourself make before, you bury your face against his chest to muffle how loud your screams of pleasure are. Negan slams into you, over and over until you notice his eyes beginning to widen, “FUCK, that’s it baby girl, you are mine!” Negan thrusts once more as deep as he can inside you and remains there as he groans his release. He lets himself fall into you, still inside you, his head resting over your shoulder as he attempted to catch his breath.

After all that you’d been through today, from that morning until this point you felt like you could forgive him. You felt like he was only doing what he needed to, to protect his own people, and you began to stop blaming him for the hurt you suffered earlier that day. You started to feel as though you could forgive him for what he put you through, if things were going to be like this.

“There are rules now, baby. Rules that you have to follow. You’re mine, you answer to me. You don’t get to be with anyone else, you don’t cheat on me. That’s a given though, right?” Negan pulls away from you, you gasp at the sensation as his cock pulls away from you, and you watch as he gets to his feet.

“Negan, are you leaving?” You furrow your eyebrow in confusion, as he began to pick up his clothes and tidy himself up. He laughs softly through his nose, and takes a deep breath in. 

“Yes sweetheart, I’m going back to my room. I’m probably going to take a bath, and watch some TV, then sleep. Tomorrows a brand new day.”

“Negan, please. I don’t want to be alone. I thought that –“ Negan laughs, and interrupts you. 

“Baby, you’re beautiful. Those eyes, the hair, the tits and ass AND what a wonderful fuck you are. Probably the best one I’ve had since the world ended. Probably. Of course - we are going to get to know each other better over time, but we aren’t ‘together’ if that’s what you thought.” You were right, all he wanted was a fuck toy. That was the price for your safety, and you’d just willingly made the trade.

“You’re a pig. You’re going to fuck me and leave me here, you conned me into being your toy?”

“You can join my wives... If you like. It’s either that, or you kneel.”

“…What did you just say?”


	4. Through the Looking Glass.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting introduced into what your way of life could be like only confirmed that you want out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys this one is short, I felt bad leaving the last chapter off where I did. I'm sorry it sucks, I promise it will get better. Please comment and let me know how you like it so far, I need to know where to improve! <3

Your head was spinning, what had you gotten yourself into?  
“WIVES. You have WIVES, Negan? Plural?! MORE THAN ONE?” 

“Is there a fuckin’ issue with that? If there is then we reverse this arrangement and we send you down to live with fuckin’ the shit, want that?”

“Negan, FULL disclosure would have been helpful. If I’d have known then –“

“THEN you’d have said no? Really? Are you SURE baby? You do realize that this isn’t a relationship? There won’t be any I love you bullshit, I told you I OWN you, not that ‘I’m with you’ shit that you just pulled!”

“The ‘I’m with you shit’ that you ATE UP before you FUCKED ME?”

“You said ‘YES’ to me, what was I meant to do?”

“You’re so fucking childish and I’m pretty sure you’re like twenty fucking five years older than me. I’m fucking leaving Negan. Good bye. Not staying up here, not staying down there. Going, end of fucking story.”

Negan stepped in front of you, chest pushed up. His eyes had changed, they weren’t mesmerizing anymore, they were frightening again. Your heart started to pound faster as he blocked the door. 

“MOVE!” You shouted and pushed him with the strength you did have, he barely stumbled. For fuck sake, you thought.

Lucille was propped up close to the doorframe, without taking his eyes off you, he grabbed his bat and pointed it at your chest. If there was one way of making you back off, he had it.

“Do I need to punish you for talking the fuck back to me? You DO NOT talk the fuck back to me.”

“Fucking do it, hit me. Right where you fucking hit them. Just do it Negan, you’re a fucking psychopath and I don’t want to be here with you.”

“Nuh-uh baby. No take backsies. Sorry to say.”

“Fuck you, Negan. You’re a piece of shit, you and your stupid grin and that fucking stupid bat –“  
A hand collided with the side of your face, hard on impact, it stung like thousands of shards of ice splintering against your skin. 

“Lucille is not fucking stupid. Lucille is awesome. You WILL go to bed now and you will fuckin’ stay there until you are collected tomorrow morning. You don’t cooperate, and you’ll be like all the other rats down there living in filth. I’m going to have of my guys chaperone you around because you’re not being a fuckin’ good girl like you were ten minutes ago. I can NOT have this kind of disobedience off one of my wives.”

“I am NOT –“

“YOU ARE. Good night.” He turned his back and went through the door, slamming it behind him. After a few seconds, you grabbed the handle and twisted it – locked from outside and unlockable from within. Naked, alone and very afraid, you sank down against the door and cried into your hands.

\---

How could your night be so sleepless when you were so safe and secure? The minutes felt like hours and the hours felt like an eternity. The clock moved slowly. Your only view of the outside world were three rectangular windows covered by bars. You stood for a long time on the green armchair that Negan had been sat on when you awoke the previous morning, after being moved from the cell. Outside was peaceful, there were guards on patrol, and walkers fortifying the fences, but hardly anything stirred. You could see a guard on their post, smoking a cigarette from where you were standing. Every so often, you took a few minutes to sit on the floor and cry, wondering what the hell you would do now.   
How would you escape this place?

Dawn broke just as slowly as the night passed, and as light began to shine through the windows in the confines of your room, you jolted awake. Someone had been in your room between the last time you were awake and the moment you had opened your eyes. A folded pile of clothes sat on the dresser, on top was a note that read,

‘Wear this or wear nothing at all’

Next to the pile of clothes was a glass of water and a press pill packet, you picked up the small foil wrapped container and studied the back of it. It was marked ‘Plan B One-step’ on the foil, emergency contraception, something you hadn’t even considered last night in the heat of the moment. There was a note next to that, too.

‘Take me’

Feeling like Alice, and certainly feeling as though you’d fallen through the looking glass, you cleared the lump in your throat, popped the pill out of the seal and swallowed it whole.

There were shoes on top of the clothes pile, they were four inch, suede black high heels. You scoffed at them and dropped them to the floor, before picking up the folded item. It was a fitted black dress. You suddenly remembered the girls that you saw in the cafeteria, they were Negan’s wives, and this is what they wore. 

“Jesus Christ, no.” You cringed when you spotted the silky black underwear fall from inside the dress as it unfolded. You looked around frantically for your old clothes, or even the dress that Negan left for you yesterday, they were nowhere to be found. Even your boots were gone. Wear this or wear nothing, he really meant it. 

You took a shower in an attempt to feel better, but all you could think about as the water ran down around you was Negan between your legs the night before. You touched where he had been and winced, he had left you sore because of his size and force, and your lack of experience.  
You were here now, there was nothing you could do until the opportunity arose.

It was time you submitted to his authority, and the only alternative to that was for you to attempt to play Negan’s little games. You knew you were an attractive young woman, maybe it was the only way to get yourself out of this place that they called the Sanctuary.  
At 8.30am sharp, the door to the room clicked unlocked, and slowly opened. A man that you’d not seen before stood in the doorway, he was scrawny with scraggy, dirty blonde hair and half a burned face. He didn’t scare you, you only wondered where he got his injuries from.

“I’m Dwight,” he said softly, “I’m glad I didn’t have to tell you to dress, Negan said you weren’t allowed to leave the room until you put those on.”

“Are you the one who came into my room and left them for him?” You spat.

“No – he did that.” Dwight replied. This boiled your blood even more.

“Where are we going then, Dwight?”

“I’m taking you to the other wives, you’re going to take breakfast together. They’ll be able to answer all your questions. Come on, let’s go.” Dwight was carrying a crossbow over his shoulder and had a radio of his own. He was obviously another one of Negan’s little gremlins.

You crossed the compound with Dwight, and noticed people staring. Some of them would put their heads straight down, and some of them would take a good, long look before returning to what they were doing. Dwight brought you to a large room close to Negan’s part of the compound, but not inside his quarters, he opened the doors for you and gestured you inside. All the girls in the room turned to face you, there were five of them and now, there was also you.

“Ashley, right? Negan told us you’d be coming down this morning,” All the girls were pretty, this one had long dark hair and looked over your shoulder towards Dwight, shaking her head as he closed the doors behind you “He said you’d probably be mad, upset and have a lot to ask us. We get it, okay? We know how you feel being forced to wear that dress and being marched down here, but hey look, you’ve got us now. I’m Sherry, and I’ll look after you, until you feel more settled.”

“I’m not getting settled, but thanks Sherry.” You huffed, still surveying the room. More bars on windows… you started to feel that they kept people from getting out, not getting in. 

“Please, listen to me first and foremost. No one enjoys this, but this is it, okay? You have to face that. He’s good to us, you just have to be good to him,” Sherry put her hand to your face and turned it to the light, “He hit you last night, he told me, said he felt bad for it. Is it okay?”

“It’s fine Sherry; I doubt he feels fucking bad though… does anyone have a cigarette? I saw a guard outside smoking one at about 4.26am and it’s all I’ve been able to think about since.” You were fully aware you were being completely awful to this girl who was legitimately trying to be kind to you. You were surprised when she held out a packet of cigarettes to you.

“Like I said, I know how it feels. We’re going to take care of you, because he’s going to make it rough for you for a while.”

“Not as rough as I’m going to make it for him.” You took a cigarette from the packet and she gestured you to sit with her at a table near the window. As you walked towards the shining, waxed table, another of the girls piped up.

“Listen to this fucking bitch with her smart mouth. You really have no fucking idea what kind of hell your life is about to become, do you? You think you can challenge Negan? You’re actually fucking stupid.” The girl looked you dead in the face, meaning every word she said. She had beautiful, curly, fiery red hair.

“Carly! Don’t be mean. She’s fucking terrified, remember what YOU were like when you first came here. You know how this feels so back the hell off. I’m sorry Ashley.” Sherry sighed and shook her head.

“He fucks people up, doesn’t he? He really fucks people up.” You breathed out heavily and tried to ignore the fact that every person in this room was still looking at you.

“He doesn’t love, Ashley. That’s why he fucks people up. He loved someone, once, he has a heart and a conscience but he doesn’t love anymore. If he did, I’m sure there wouldn’t be six of us now.” Sherry leaned over to you and lit your cigarette for you.

“He didn’t tell me about any of you, until last night after he fucked me. I said I’d stay here with him; he gave me the impression that it was just me. I didn’t expect love, I’m not stupid. I knew it was a trade, I guess I just didn’t know what to expect.”

Sherry laughed, “He brought you here yesterday and he… the day he brought you here? Are you kidding? He never does that. He’s never done that to any of us. Don’t mistake it for more than that, though. It is what it is.”

At that moment, the doors swung open, Negan strutted through and silence fell. You only clicked then that it was like watching a character at the theatre, his big gestures and projections. He was a showman.

“My girls…” he exclaimed, “damn you all look hot as fuck this morning. I am going to say goodbye to you for a couple days though, I’m going on a run to let off some fuckin’ steam. I’ll be leaving today and returning tomorrow evening. Got some shit to sort out while I’m gone. You’re all going to miss me, I know.” Negan walked through the girls, stroking their backs, shoulders and hair as he moved around the room. You looked down, and kept your head down as he got closer to you and Sherry. You stared at your knees, and saw his boots directly in front of you, facing toward you.

“Nice to see you made it down, sweetheart. I hope the girls are all making you feel welcome. I’ll be seeing you all soon.” You didn’t look at him as he turned to walk away, you were too busy figuring out how you were going to get out of Sanctuary while Negan was gone.

Maybe, just maybe, you could go with him.


	5. Too Good to be True.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You had decided it was time to leave the Sanctuary, but how were you getting out and where would you go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short, a little boring I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've not updated for a few days! I've been busy as heck with University work!

If you were leaving today - the clothes had to go, no way could you escape in four inch heels and a mini dress. It was time to move. You needed to find the laundry room. As you walked towards the door to leave the room full of Negans wives, sherry called, “Where are you going, is everything okay, Ashley?” You smiled at her, “Totally fine, I’ll see you later, I have a few things to do back in my room.”

You made haste, walking quickly through the grey hallways of sanctuary. Your shoes were nothing more than an inconvenience, so you had taken them off and were carrying them at your side. As you walked through the hallways, your senses were heightened to every sound or movement around you, the soles of your feet felt the cold floor sting every time you stepped forward. Reaching the overpass above the trading hall, a guard crossed your path and nodded at you in acknowledgement.

“Excuse me,” you began, wondering if it was the right decision, “… could you tell me where the laundry room is? It’s just, one of my heels is wobbling and I’m going to break my ankle if I fall on it.” You lied, smiling politely.

“You’re new here. Yeah, you take a left past the cafeteria, down the long hall there and it’s to the right at the bottom of that hall… Should I get someone to do that for you?” The man went to take his radio from his belt.

“Oh no, honestly it’s fine. I hate being waited on, I’m… not used to it. If you want something done, always best to do it yourself, right? Thank you, see you around!” You had already started to follow his directions before he had even finished talking to you. Being smart about this was the only way out. Every person that you passed by on your way, you kept your head down and made no eye contact. Your black dress was your greatest giveaway right now.

As you approached the laundry rooms, you didn’t hide, you didn’t want to look suspicious. There was a cart outside, like the ones they wheeled around in hospital facilities, full of what looked like bedding. You couldn’t wear sheets, you decided that your best chance was to just walk in and see what you could find. There didn’t appear to be anyone in the room, so you began to search. A thin, grey long sleeved t-shirt and a mens dark lumberjack shirt, a pair of khaki cargo pants, some mens boxer shorts to replace the awful lacey underwear and a thick pair of socks. You pulled at the first things you found that looked like they’d fit, because you didn’t have time to screw around. You noticed a huge storage bin in the corner of the room and rushed to it, shoes, belts and caps. You didn’t care what you were going to be wearing for now, only that it fit. A black cap, adjustable canvas belt and a pair of hiking boots were added to your arsenal. You only had to get out of there now, you had what you came for. 

Outside the door to the laundry room was a window into the yard, trucks were being loaded up, and you could see Simon directing people at the fence. 

Dwight was there too, prodding at the wire with his gun. You wondered what they were doing, until you realise that they had people on the other side of the fence, with the dead ones, directing them with a long pole and neck trap. One of the men behind the wire, you recognized, his face was sallow and his hair was greasy and dark. He had an A painted on his prisoner uniform, realizing that he was in the lineup with you, you quickly shook your head and sighed. It was time to move. Ducking down behind the laundry bin full of sheets, you hastily changed your clothes and put on the boots and the cap, tucking your hair awkwardly into the cap to make yourself less obvious. You threw the ants, dress and shoes into the laundry bin and moved further down the hall. There had to be a door, and there you would wait.

You figured out from your viewpoint that the gates were going to be closed once Negan and the saviors had left the compound. If you tried to make a run for it then, you’d fail, they’d see you. That’s when you saw the empty supply crates on the back of one of the trucks, this truck had no shutter, this truck was your vessel. You were going to have to move now, before Negan appeared. You pushed the door open as quietly as you could, you could hear the engines fire up, and the other men were all shouting that they were ready to go. You looked to your right and left to check the coast was clear, it was, and the Saviours all began to turn their backs as the men on the gate turned and readied themselves to open it. As the Saviours began to walk up to the cabins of the trucks and off roaders, you checked you were clear again, and with all the stealth you had in broad daylight, crouched and paced your way to the truck without a shutter on the back. 

It was almost too good to be true, you placed your hands on the back of the truck and hoisted yourself inside, keeping low the whole time. Carefully and quietly stepping in-between a stack of crates, you figured that Negan must have already been in one of the vehicles. As the truck began to move you took one last look out of the back, there against the chain fence staring straight at you, was the man from the lineup. One of the people from Alexandria.

The gates shut behind you as the vehicles gained speed, there were no others driving behind you. In front of your feet was a wooden crate, quietly you stooped down and lifted the lid carefully.   
Guns, ammo and knives. The Saviours little jaunt was just what you needed as your escape plan. You decisively took as little as you possibly could, strapped a sheath and a knife to your leg, two small pistols and their holsters around your waist, and the smallest shotgun you could find over your back.

Initially, your plan was not to go anywhere that there could be or would be people. You didn’t want to be a part of a group or a settlement, you wanted to be alone. However, something began to stir in you that told you there was somewhere you needed to be.

You were going to wait for the right moment and get out of the truck, and you were going to go to Alexandria.

\---

The voices you could hear in the truck were thick and muffled, and you couldn’t hear Negan, no matter how much you tried to. You were kicking yourself for letting this man in and letting him fool you into thinking you’d be treated well, maybe he would have treated you well but since you had already endured a smack across the face you felt better off for running away.

About forty minutes had passed before you decided to move, the trees were denser here, the land not so open. They could drive away comfortably out of sight before you needed to worry about being spotted, you knew getting out would hurt you with them driving at around thirty miles an hour. Keeping low, you pulled off the lumberjack shirt, folded it up into a bunch and held it with both hands behind your head. Cursing yourself, you squatted on the ledge of the truck with your back facing the ground, took a deep breath in and let yourself fall to the gravel. 

The air knocked out of you, and you felt the scrape as you touched down on the ground. Hot gravel tore down your back, arms and legs, but not your head, just as you had planned using the shirt as a pillow. It took all your strength not to cry out in pain, instead you held your breath. Staying flat on the ground, you looked down your nose at the vehicles until they became smaller and smaller. When they looked like flies in the distance, you slowly pushed yourself up. There was blood on the gravel underneath you from the grazes you’d sustained on impact, they were deep grazes but they bled very slowly and weren’t going to be an issue if you could clean them as soon as you reached Alexandria.

You remembered that Rick had told you if ever you changed your mind about being solo, to go to them at Alexandria, he had told you where to go and which route to follow. You hoped that wasn’t where the Saviours had headed off to as you dusted yourself off and picked up the dirty pistol that had flown from your holster. 

“Alright, Rick…” you muttered with a sigh, “I hope you’re at god damn home.”


	6. Trouble around the corner.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You had reached the settlement of Alexandria and her people. Having not seen them since Negan stepped out of the RV and took you away, how would they take to your arrival in their home and had you really escaped Negan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm stked to have over 600 hits in such a small time! Lke I said at the start this is something I haven't done in around ten years! Here's a new chapter, this is where the dynamic will swap and change a little. Characters in Alexandria may seem slightly stronger than they were in the show to start off with, but Im just manipulating things to work with my fic. Thinking about writing a chapter from Negans standpoint next, let me know how you'd feel about that?! I know it's a slow build but I like writing this way, I'm not the biggest fan of short fics because I love character development. Hope you all enjoy, please make sure to leave feedback if you do! It's all appreciated! <3

On the approach to the gates of Alexandria, you felt uneasy and wondered if you’d be granted entry after all that they had seen in the clearing. Remembering what Negan had told you had made you feel uneasy too, about Rick killing so many of his people, after seeing what Negan was capable of you reasoned with yourself that they must have had due cause to do what they did… but then, did Negan? You began to wonder who you could trust, if you could trust anyone at all.

“STOP!” A voice called from the top of the gates, “Who are you and what do you want? Wait, you, we picked you up on… Oh my God… Rick! Someone get Rick! Where’s Daryl? Do you, do you know where Daryl is? Open the gates, she’s okay!” The urgency in her voice became apparent as she disappeared from her post and reappeared at the gate, a man you hadn't seen when you were on the RV pulled it back, but you recognised the woman.  
She ushered you inside, scanning the place with your eyes you realized you hadn’t seen anything like this before. Real houses with a wall built around them.

“You’re, you’re Sasha, right?” You looked back at the woman and she nodded at you hastily, “I’m, I’m so sorry about…” falling short of your words, you turned at the sound of heavy footsteps running towards you. It was Rick, the leader of the people of Alexandria, and the group that picked you up on the road that night. A young boy followed behind Rick, with his gun raised, as a precaution you removed the shot gun from your back and laid it on the floor, along with the pistols from your holsters.

“They took you, Ashley. I saw them take you, you and Daryl. How did you get here? Did you escape, are they following you?” Rick was panicked, he spoke quickly, they were all still in shock and mourning – that much was obvious.

“Daryl is alive, he’s okay Rick,” you looked around at all their faces as more and more of Ricks people appeared around you, “He’s behind a fence, herding the dead. They use them, as a defense mechanism. Daryl is alive, I saw him, I promise… I escaped. I got into the back of one of their trucks, I jumped out. They didn’t see me, I don’t think. They went out, Negan… Negan went out. Negan…” Suddenly words failed you, and you dropped to your knees.

“Negan...? He hurt you?” Rick crouched to your level and put his hand on your arm to comfort you.

“He told me that you were the bad guys - he wouldn’t let me leave. He told me that I had to stay and either kneel to him or, or be his… it sounds so fucking stupid, he wanted me to be his ‘wife’. He tricked me, and I fell for it, I saw him murder your people, your friends Rick – he had his way with me, I’m sorry. I deserved to be killed that night, not your friends. I had to find you, I had to tell you.” Words barely escaped your mouth as you choked on tears, you felt pathetic in front of these people who had lost so much.

“It’s not your fault, he hurt you too, no one deserved any of this. You need to know that, he’s wrong, we aren’t the bad guys.” Rick looked over his shoulder, “Eugene, come here. Help me take her back, if you don’t mind her taking a bath in your place. I’ll get her some fresh clothes. She needs water okay? Carl, Sasha, I want you on the gates watching like hawks. Soon as they find out she’s gone they’ll come looking here.”

“Rick don’t help me, just let me go, I don’t want to cause you any trouble. Please.” You winced as Rick and the other man, Eugene pulled you to your feet. Eugene studied you with questioning eyes for a moment, before placing an arm around your back.

“I think I can look after you, if that’s what Rick wants me to do. I trusted you, when we found you on the road, by coming back here I think you’ve proved you can be trusted.” Eugene spoke to you for the first time as he and Rick eased you through Alexandria.

“Thank you, Eugene.” Rick sighed.

 ---

Rick had left you in Eugenes care, he was strange. Shy but good natured. You were sat on the lid of the closed toilet seat barely holding yourself up as he ran the tap water over the bath.

“I think, no I’m sure, that this water is at an optimal temperature for those there cuts and grazes you sustained while escaping from the Saviours. It’s going to sting when you get in the tub but you’ll adjust to it. Better off clean.” He nodded to himself and looked at you seriously, with a furrowed brow.

“Thank you Eugene, I won’t be long. I’m too afraid they’ll come looking for me. I need to leave.” You looked down at your feet and began to untie your bootlaces.

“You just got here, you have valuable information about Daryl’s whereabouts, you can’t leave yet.”

“You’re right, I do. But I don’t want to get anyone killed, if Negan finds me after I escaped him… I stole guns and clothes. He’s not going to take it lightly. He’s... I can’t.” You removed your boots and socks.

“He told you you’d have safety and security in exchange for something you thought you’d be willing to give up at the time. I don’t think anyone will blame you for coming here, on the contrary you have a point. I’m going to wait in my sitting room, now, if you don’t mind. I’m going to ask you to leave the door unlocked in case anything goes bad and we need to get you out. Ricks orders.” Eugene turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.

You began to feel like nowhere you went would be safe, and you couldn’t help but think you’d put the Alexandrians in danger by running to them.

Bathing was painful, so painful that you wanted to get out of the bath as soon as you had finished cleaning the grazes. The ones on your back were hard to reach, and you could see in the mirrored bath tiling that you were badly bruised. Pushing yourself out of the tub carefully, trying not to slip, was just as painful as the skin stretched and pulled with every movement you made. A tapping at the door made you jump, and you quickly wrapped a clean white towel around you, even the towel stung on contact with your skin.

“It’s me, Eugene. I’ve just been got some fresh clothes for you but I don’t rightly know how to give them to you without making this awkward.”

“Eugene, I’ve got a towel around me it’s okay, here,” you opened the door with one hand and held the towel up with the other, Eugene gasped through his nose and closed his eyes, you laughed for the first time in days, “Eugene… You’re so silly. Thank you for bringing me these, I appreciate it.” You took the towels off him and closed the door again. He’d given you a long-sleeved navy jumper and a pair of black chino pants, fresh socks and underwear.

“I picked out that jumper, that’s my own personal garment. The rest was given to me by Sasha, she said she hopes that it all fits.” He called through the door. When you were dressed, you opened it again, Eugene was still stood there with his eyes closed.

“Thank you Eugene, you can open your eyes now. I like the jumper.” You smiled when he opened his eyes, and he nodded once. He gestured you to follow him into the sitting room, Rick was sitting there with some others from the settlement around a coffee table. On the table were sandwiches and lemonade, a notepad and a pen.

“Sit down, Ashley. We have some medical supplies and we’re gonna get you some painkillers, but before we give you anything that might make you wanna sleep. I need you to help me. You need to drink some lemonade, and draw me a map as clear as you remember, of the Saviours ground and interiors. Point out Daryl on the map, and guard posts if you can.” Rick spoke softly, you immediately picked up then pen and began to draw with shaky hands. You hadn’t eaten for a while.

“I don’t remember everything, including all of you. I know only some of you were in the RV that picked me up… What are all your names again, please.” You asked as you drew.

“Well, you know I’m Rick and you’ve met Eugene. Sasha, you know too, and my son is Carl over there with the hat, I’m sure you also remember him. This is Aaron, and this is Michonne. Our friend Maggie, is at a place called hilltop. You also met Rosita on the RV, she’s taking a watch shift.” You looked at a clock on the wall as Rick spoke, it was past 8pm. The man Rick named as Aaron stepped forward and placed two capsules on the table in front of you.  
“Strong painkillers,” Rick started, “you’ll need them to sleep tonight.”

“I only came here to warn you about him and about what he has behind him. People in that place, they kneel for him when he walks by. When he took me there, he was kind to me and so were his people. He told me that he owned me now and that I wasn’t allowed to leave, in exchange for keeping his bed warm at night he offered me food, protection… I couldn’t say no, I had no choice. When he admitted to me that he already had other women doing this for him, I tried to stand up to him, told him I was going to leave, and he hit me. Rick, I’m not going to stay here – I can’t let you lose any more of your people by me coming here.”

You finished drawing what you could from memory, took the tablets and leaned back in an armchair.  
“I’ve marked the armory with a star, and the doors that I can remember with a triangle, and where Daryl was in the pen, I wrote Daryl, just there... I don’t know if they leave him there all night. The guards are the squares… Negans quarters are the ones with crosses in.”

“Thank you.” Sasha said, staring at you intently but with a gratefulness in her eyes.

Rick leaned over, took the map from you and studied it, “I’m sorry about what happened to you, for what Negan did to you. None of us blame you for feeling like you had no choice. I know we only picked you up to give you a ride, if I hadn’t let you get on that RV you wouldn’t have had to go through all this. The important thing right now is that you’re safe. We’ve already worked out a place to hide you if the Saviours come, we’ve loosened some floorboards in here. You’d be able to hide underneath them easily.” His voice was genuine, and it was apparent that he was making provisions for you to stay.

Eugene coughed to attract your attention, “There is a spare bedroom here in this house, you’re welcome to it and I believe you’d be comfortable, but if they come you need to know where to go and you need to go there fast. The loose floorboards in this house are right under where you’re sitting. You move the chair, get under, stay quiet and we push the chair back over.” He relayed, you nodded and said your thanks quietly.

You didn’t understand why they were helping you, you wanted to say no and leave, but you were too tired. Rick acknowledged this and wished you goodnight, the others left in silence. Having only wanted to warn the Alexandrians about their captured friend, you didn’t expect hospitality, Eugene motioned for you to eat the sandwiches while you contemplated the kindness of these people, and as you chewed, you wondered what surviving was about now.

Negan promised you he would keep you safe, but, how could they be kept safe from him now that you had disobeyed him. You knew trouble was just around the corner.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping,” Eugene stood and started back up the stairs. He was a gracious host, you thought, despite his odd way of wording things and his constant look of discomfort. “This bedroom here, you may find sleeping on your front to be most comfortable with your injuries, though I do think they should settle down a lot now. I’m not good in confrontational situations but if there is an emergency I’ll make sure you know to hide yourself.”

“Thank you, Eugene. I mean it. I’m so sorry, about your friends.” You put your hand on his arm, and he nodded.

“Abraham and Glenn, they were good people. I never had many friends but these friends saved my life on many occasions. I only wish I was brave enough to have saved theirs. Good night, Ashley, I’ll be in the room over the hall if you need my assistance with anything.” With that, Eugene turned and left you to your own devices. The bedroom was small and cozy, but you didn’t feel safe, despite Alexandria’s walls.

Nowhere was truly safe anymore.


	7. Us or them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandria treats you well, but you can't stay forever - it's only a matter of time before Negan knows that you are missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today, I wanted to bridge the story into *something* and get a bit of action in... and also today I added a part from Negan's perspective - let me know if it works and if you're still enjoying it... because I didn't know how it would play out. ALSO I'm sorry for the lack of fluff and smut... like I said I like character building :')

_“Did you think running away from me was clever?”_

_His gloved hand gripped a chunk of your hair, enabling him to pull your head up and force you to look ahead of you, you closed your eyes in protest, your chest rising and falling quickly to the rhythm of your pounding heartbeat. You were sure he could hear it, just as he could smell your fear._

_“Open your eyes and look. I said LOOK. You did this, not them, YOU. You disobeyed me, and THIS is the price they pay for your stupidity. You have no one to blame for this but yourself.”_

_There was a heat like nothing you had ever experienced flowing all around you. Sweat covered you from head to toe and your skin stung like you’d been given the forty lashes. You didn’t want to open your eyes, every part of your fought his demands._

_“I’ll just bring Lucille down on Ricks pretty little skull then!”_

_“STOP. I’ll look, don’t hurt anyone else, I’ll…” You opened your eyes, Alexandria was burning._

 

 --- 

 

“NO, NEGAN! NO, NO, NO!”

 

You shot upright in the bed and looked around you, you weren’t surrounded by fire, it wasn’t real. You had dreamed it; Negan wasn’t there and you were still in a bed, Alexandria was not engulfed in flames. You became aware that you had shouted as you were waking as you heard footsteps on the landing and the door to your bedroom opened to reveal a panicked Eugene.

 

“He’s not here, okay, you’re having a bad dream. Negan isn’t here, I heard you calling his name, shouting ‘no’, but it’s okay. You’re safe.” He approached the bed that you were cowering in, but it appeared that he didn’t quite know what he should do to calm you down. You were still a relative stranger to him, so you weren’t surprised that he didn’t scoop you up into his arms and hush you, but you would have appreciated someone to wrap your arms around at that moment.

 

“I’m, I’m sorry Eugene I didn’t mean to wake you up.” You panted sheepishly as you tried to steady your breathing.

 

“Nonsense, it’s currently past 7.30 in the AM and now, I usually like to read a book and drink a coffee. Only, I also had a bad dream and I can’t concentrate on doing that right now.”

 

You rubbed your eyes, pulled your knees up to your chest and sighed.

“Eugene, I’m leaving. I can’t stay here. You’re all in danger if I do stay and if they do find me… more people are going to die and it’s going to be my fault. I’m going now, please you don’t have to say you knew I was going… just lie.”

 

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. Not because I’m not a good liar but because I think you are an honest and caring person, I don’t want you to come to any harm.” You thought that was just as valid as a hug would have been, but the people here like Eugene were the reason you knew you had to get out of there.

 

“Look, Eugene, I think you’re all great too but that’s the problem. You’re all going to die if I stay. Negan is still out on his run with the Saviors, he won’t even find out that I’m gone until he goes back to Sanctuary this evening. I can put a lot of distance between us, between now and then… Just let me go.”

 

You studied his face as he thought, he knew he couldn’t stop you and you could see that he knew it.

 

“Okay,” Eugene finally reasoned, “but, go later this afternoon. I have a guard post then and I can get you out of that gate faster than a jet but you have to wait a few more hours.” You smiled at his proposal.

 

“Okay, Eugene. Deal.”

 

* * *

 

_\- NEGANS PERSPECTIVE... -_

 

It was early in the morning, and the sun was just beginning to rise. The air was fresh, he could feel it starting to warm as the sky became progressively lighter, it was apparent to him that it was going to be another beautiful day without a cloud in the sky.

 

Negan led on the roof of the transporter, one hand behind his head and one hand thumbing at the base of the bat attached to his belt. The vans were parked in the shape of an asterisk, all facing one another with a fire pit it in centre that was still giving off smoke from the night before.

_I’m fucking awake_ , he thought, _why did I not get any fucking sleep last night?_

“Negan,” Simon’s voice found him from the ground, “shit, boss. What are you doing up there, didn’t you sleep?”

 

“I was, just asking myself why I didn’t… so I ain’t got an answer for why, but I’m sure as shit I didn’t.” Negan pushed himself into a sitting position as Simon clambered up to join him on top of the van.

 

“I think you’ve got too much shit on your mind, if you don’t mind me saying so. I don’t think Rick made that any easier for you.” Simon sighed as he sat and dangled his legs over the side of the vehicle.

 

“No he did not, Simon… You know what? I think I feel, bad? Not about Rick, but about the girl. I think I was in such a bullshit mood that I dropped it on her too hard. All the other wives, yeah they started off a little reluctant but, they came around and now they throw themselves at me… _especially_ when they know they’re gonna get something they want. I’ve got this feeling she fucking wont.” Negan laughed, but it was with exasperation rather than joy, Simon shared his laughter sympathetically.

 

“I think she resents that you didn’t tell her about the other wives, because she feels like it wasn’t her decision. She’s a nice girl, clever and witty but she’s not _that_ kinda girl – you know what I mean?”

 

“Oh but Simon, she _was_ that kind of girl for a good solid moment – no pun intended, or maybe there was… Ah - you’re fucking right, as soon as ‘wives plural’ were mentioned… ruined it.”

 

“Maybe, she’s into monogamy?” Simon suggested.

 

“State of the world now, and women still get pissed about sharing even when you’ve promised to protect them, feed them, clothe them… god damn. I don’t know what to do with her, I want to keep her but, she is going to make my life fucking difficult.” Negan breathed out in frustration and lightly beat his fist down on the roof of the van.

 

“Boss, all respect to you but try and see it from her point of view. You don’t let your wives cheat on you and if they do you punish them… so what if she was you and she had five husbands – you’d think she was a filthy fucking whore.”

 

“Simon, you’re not wrong brother. She thinks I’m a fucking pig, but I’m a gentleman, I need her to see that and _then_ she’ll come around.” With that, Negan patted Simon on the back. He was glad to have Simon, his right hand man and also _probably_ the only person he felt even the smallest bit inclined to confide in.

 

“You are a gentleman, treat her like a lady, and she’ll be eating out of the palm of your hand. I think she’s a real lovely girl, the rest of your girls are fine to look at boss but they don’t have her personality. Get to know her.”

 

They sat in silence for a moment, Simon listened to the birds sing, while Negan wondered privately what life would have been like if none of this had ever happened.

 

The radio attached to Negans belt gave off feedback before crackling into life. He looked down at it and shook his head.

 

“Negan, are you there boss?”

 

“Dwight, go on – this better be important if you’re bothering me at the ass crack of dawn.”

 

“It’s not good boss. She’s gone. I’ve been looking for her, I’ve had your wives and five other men looking for her. I think she’s escaped, we found her clothes left behind near the laundry rooms.” The urgency in Dwight’s voice was apparent and Negan had a gut feeling that stirred as he spoke.

 

“Who the fuck is ‘she’, Dwight?” Negan bellowed, already knowing the answer but not really wanting the hear it, “There are six of them, if you bothered to count, ‘she’ is not –“

 

“Ashley, boss. Ashley.”

 

“FUCK,” Negan lowered the radio, stroked his beard hard and looked to Simon, “You were right Simon. I did not make a good first impression on her.”

 

“I’ll wake the others, where are we going?”

 

“You are going to Sanctuary, you are going to collect something, and you are going to bring that thing back… meet me a mile out from Alexandria. Hell, I did not want to see Rick for another week, but I know she’s fucking there.” Negan jumped down to the gravel a few feet below him.

 

“What am I collecting, boss?” Simon followed down from the top of the van behind Negan, he began to hit the sides of the other vehicles to wake the sleeping Saviors.

 

“Daryl. Bring me Daryl, and she’ll soon see _exactly_ who she should trust out of us or _them_.”


	8. Isolated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew it was only a matter of time before the Saviors were on your trail and getting people killed isn't what you want, will your attempt to escape Negan end you up right back where you started?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day, I'm feeling CrEaTiVe. Seriously though it's going to be a few days before I release more so please stick with me and I promise more action and fun. I love comments and stuff <3

You spent a while trying to make yourself presentable in the bathroom of Eugene’s house, you arranged your hair into a donut on top of your head and even got to spray it secure with some product. Eugene had let you keep the jumper he had given to you the night before, and your bag was packed ready with bottles of water for the road, wherever it was headed for you.

 

Rick was in the sitting room downstairs with Eugene, talking over breakfast. Rick asked you to join them when you had dressed, for a moment you decided to silently perch at the top of the stairs and listen to their conversation – Negan’s words had played on your mind. He had told you repeatedly that you couldn’t trust Rick or his people, and that the Alexandrians had slaughtered Negan’s own men in cold blood for no reason. Even though Negan had played you for a fool and tricked you into agreeing to his terms without telling you exactly what they were, you felt that you didn’t know either man, and now was not the time to trust anyone.

You had been far too trusting until now.

 

You could just abut make out pieces of their conversation, nothing you would hear would be useful so you wondered why you were listening at all. Yu heard them talking of supply runs and providing for the Saviors, and you wondered why they wanted to eve make the effort before realizing that the Saviors were too many and they couldn’t fight against them. This made you feel guilty for listening in, you were about to walk down the staircase when you heard Rick chuckle and joke,

“Eugene, you kind of like this girl, don’t you?”

 

For a second, you stopped and smiled to yourself, and thought of what a normal life would be like in the world as it was. A life where you could have someone who cared about you, it seemed like an impossibility, a few days ago – a part of you thought that Negan would have been that life.

 

You quickly descended the stairs, leaving the bag you packed on the landing.

 

“Good morning, Ashley. I hope you’re feeling a little better today, for what it’s worth.” Rick greeted you.

 

“I am feeling a little better,” you smiled, “thank you for everything you’ve done already. Both of you.”

 

“I’m also feeling fine Rick, you can tell Michonne –“ Eugene began, but Rick cut him off.

 

“Eugene, honestly Michonne would rather be up there. I’m not saying you’re a bad shot but you’re not in a good place after the other day. I ca see it all over your face. Just relax, you and Ashley probably have plenty of stuff to talk about. You could show her around, introduce her to our people.”

 

_For fuck sake,_ you thought as frustration built up inside you, _Ricks taken Eugene off his guard duty. FUCK, now what?!_

“Any way, I’m going out with Aaron soon. We need to make sure that we have enough supplies for when the Saviors come for their offering. You guys should get out, it’s nice outside.” Rick stood and began to walk towards the door, you followed with Eugene outside, onto the porch and down the road into the middle of the street in silence.

 

When Rick was a little more than earshot away, Eugene sighed, “I didn’t ask to swap, I mean it.”

 

“Hmmm,” you groaned sarcastically, “Do I believe that after you told me you were a good liar?” You turned to him, half smiling, half grimacing. He looked at you awkwardly with unintentional puppy dog eyes, you could see he was telling the truth.

 

“It’s okay Eugene, we’ll get our moment.”

 

Suddenly there was a moment of quiet, you looked towards the gates of Alexandria and the sun shone over the high walls, Ricks body cast a long shadow on the ground and suddenly you could hear the rumble. Michonne waved at Rick from the top of the fence and shouted something almost inaudible, you watched as his body spun around and he began to sprint back to you.

 

He shouted to you, “Go! Go! It’s them, they’re here. You need to hide!” For a moment, everything seemed to be in slow motion, until you felt his hands collide with your back, he gripped your shoulders and ran with you towards Eugene’s house. When you looked back at Eugene, all you recognized was fear. Rick pulled you into the sitting room and pushed the chair over, he pulled up the floorboards using the edge of the knife strapped to his waist.

 

“In, now. You could be in here for a while. Stay quiet,” He commanded as you squeezed down on the concrete, laying on your back facing up, as he replaced the floorboards he sighed, “If they come in here searching, do your best not to make a sound or even breathe.” You didn’t know if you could breathe as you felt the chair being slid back into position over you. As Rick rushed out, you heard a glass hit the floor and smash from his hurry. You lay there, you waited and you listened.

 

Everything was loud. The sound of the clock ticking on the wall, louder than anything you’d ever heard. You could barely hear voices out in the street, and you began to wonder what would happen, how this would all play out. Twenty minutes or so must have passed before you heard the footsteps on the porch, you took a deep breath in, and then you heard his voice.

 

“I hope to fucking God you are not lying to me, Rick, but eight doors in and still nothing. I like to check that my men are doing a good job, and apparently, they aren’t - no one’s knocked this door yet! I’m not surprised either, someone left it wide open!” _It’s him,_ you thought, _of course it’s him._

Negan’s footsteps echoed all around you, you heard him chuckle, “Damn Rick, someone had a scrap in here so it would seem. Why did you follow me in anyway? It’s almost like you want to check where I’m looking… No hiding places in the sitting room or kitchen I see. Up the stairs I go, boys, check the cupboards for good fucking measure.” Negan commanded to some of his men.

 

Up the stairs. The stairs that led to the landing where you had left the backpack, and the Saviors shotgun. Each step Negan took on the ascent to the landing took an eternity from where you were lying, you quietly let the breath of air out, and breathed in again.

 

“Well Rick. My work here is fucking done. You heard a thud close to you on the ground, just above your head, quick footsteps coming halfway down the staircase, the cocking of a shotgun and the explosive sound it made when it was fired at the floor two feet from your torso.

Subsequently, these things led to the sound of your own whimpering in fear, you were found.

 

The armchair was thrown from above you, “Rick, you’re clever but you’re fucking stupid. You know that, right?” The floorboards lifted from above you and light flooded your eyes, when they adjusted to the light Negan already had a hold of the jumper you were wearing and was dragging you from your hiding place.

 

“Are you pleased to see me, baby? Did you think that you wouldn’t see me again?” He was almost laughing, “Fun game you had me playing there. When Dwight radioed me to say you’d up and fucking run I was worried sick.”

 

“You _are_ sick, Negan.” You snarled.

 

“I’ve missed you too, beautiful. God damn, let’s go and get down to business Rick, now that I’ve found what I lost… I think YOU lost something too.” Negan put his arm around the back of your waist, firmly holding Lucille against your stomach with the other arm. He whistled to his men to follow and to train their guns on the people of Alexandria. Rick followed behind and he led you towards to gates and his vehicles.

 

“Bring the man out, Simon.” He called from halfway down the street. You could see Simon in the distance, pulling a hooded figure out of the back of one of the vans, the figure was wearing the Saviors prison uniform and you didn’t need three guesses to work out what was going to happen next.

 

Negan reached Simon and ordered the man to his knees before pulling the cover off his head.

 

“Daryl!” Rick and several other all chorused, stopping in their tracks.

 

“You think,” Negan bellowed, “after the other day you pricks would have learned a fucking lesson. Yet, you take what belongs to me –“

 

“Negan!” You spit through gritted teeth, “You don’t have to do this, they didn’t do anything, it was MY fault. Take me and leave them alone. I’m sorry, Negan.”

 

“You shut your damn mouth, I’m going to tell you how this works, and baby it’s not your choice this time. I gave you a chance to make your fucking choice, and you run the fuck away from me? You DON’T have a choice now!” He continued his speech, and fear flowed through you every time he opened his mouth.

 

“Daryl works for me now, he works all day in the heat, in an enclosure full of dead men walking and you better believe me when I say if he slips up he’s going to become one of them. I took your man; you took my wife. This is a trade, folks. You get Daryl back, but I get my woman. OR, you keep her, and I keep him. That is how this is going to fucking work.” Negan’s speech was over for a moment, and silence fell once again. The people of Alexandria that had gathered at the gate looked to one another speechless. You found Eugene’s face amongst them all, and you caught him mouthing ‘I’m sorry’.

 

You looked at Rick, you knew that there was only one sensible choice for him to make.

 

“Look at you all, nothing to fucking say. Your friend on his knees in front of you, he eats dog food for dinner and you are all speechless? None of you got a fucking thing to say?” He smiled at Rick.

 

“Daryl,” you heard a girl say, “leave us Daryl and take your fucking girlfriend.”

 

“Rosita, please – “ Rick started but his words trailed off.

 

“Well Rick, sounds like you’re going to piss some of your people off if you don’t make the right choice.” Negan tightened his grip around your waist, letting you know that he’d already won.

 

You saw Rick nodding his head, “Okay, fine. Daryl stays with us.”

 

You weren’t angry, or shocked. This was his friend, and you knew that if you were him, you’d have made the same choice.

 

“Thank you,” you spoke softly to Rick, “Thank you for the hospitality. I was leaving today anyway, that’s why the bag was out, that’s why they found me. I’m sorry I was a burden.”

 

“Thank you indeed, Rick. As much as I wanted to keep your man Daryl, well - I get very protective over my belongings. I’ll leave him with you, and we will be back in four days’ time for our damn stuff. You had better have double what I saw in your fucking stores when we get back.”

 

Negan whistled again, and turned on his heel, taking you back towards the transporter van and getting into the back with you. Simon was driving, there was no window into the driver’s cabin, you began to feel the fear all wash back over you again as you realized you were isolated with him.

 

When the vehicles began to move, Negan unzipped his leather jacket and removed his red neck scarf, placing them on the floor. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily, before placing his hand on your cheek and whispering, “Baby, I am so, so sorry.”

 

_What the fuck is his little game now._


	9. Back to Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan realises that ashley is going to be harder to get on his side than he initially thought, he wonders how she can hold a grudge for so long and what he can do to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, uploading this at 10.30pm UK time and I'm super tired. I've started a new fic called 'Disappear here' if anyone is interested. It's fun to write so maybe it's fun to read!

Creases wrinkled at the corners of deep brown eyes, tired eyes that refused to give in to sleep. Eyes that concentrated on your own intently, leaving you no escape. Salt and pepper beard cascaded around his jawline, his chest rising and falling gently, he repeated himself.

“I’m sorry.” His voice low, gravelly and harsh. You wondered why he was doing this, your feelings conflicted as on the one hand you wanted to reach out and slap him had across the mouth. On the other, you wanted to rest your palm over his heart, to make sure that it worked like a regular human heart did.  
“It seems unlike you to apologise, Negan.” You mumbled, looking down at your feet. Negan laughed softly through his nose.

“And, what exactly do you know about me? You up and fucked off, you didn’t give me a chance.”

“Okay, here we go. You murder two strangers in front of me and take me hostage, proceed to treat me like royalty whilst unreservedly flirting with me, essentially trick me into agreeing to ‘be with you’, you have amazing sex with me before you confess that I’m you wife now along with the other five, then you go to leave me all alone and then you hit me. What else do I need to know, Negan?”

“I agree, I fucked up there apart from when I fucked you into oblivion, but did you not just see what fuckin’ happened back there? They swapped you out for Daryl without even talk of a compromise and you actually thanked them for their ‘hospitality’?!” You looked away from him again, not having an answer or opinion on that point that would counter him.

“Why are you suddenly being nice, Negan? All you’ve done so far is scare the holy fuck out of me or upset me, and now you’re playing the nice guy card.”

“I want to make it up to you, start from scratch again.” Negan said, matter of factly.

“Ha, that’s fucking impossible. Even if I DID agree to go back to the beginning… I still wouldn’t be happy with the situation. You’ve got those other women, and you- “

“I KNEW you were jealous. You just keep going back to that! You don’t give a shit that people kneel to me, you don’t care that I have no remorse when I bring down Lucille’s justice, it’s the fucking women!” Negan clapped his hand down onto his thigh and bit his lip while he rolled his eyes.

“Lucille is such a fucking stupid name for a bat.” You spat, before realizing you were poking at him and trying to aggravate him on purpose. You were probing for a reaction, and you expected anger, instead he sighed with a look of defeat on his face.

“Lucille was my fucking wife. Before this. I hurt her, and by the time I realized I was making a huge fucking mistake. Well, it was too late, and she was gone.”

You looked up at him quickly, searching his face and those deep eyes for signs of a big fat lie, but there were none. Negan was serious, and had just opened himself up to you after you were told he wouldn’t, couldn’t. 

“Did you lose anyone you loved?” He continued, under the impression that because he had told you his tragedy that you were obliged to reveal your own.

“Only friends and family, not a lover. I’ve never been in love. I’m sorry about your wife. But, Negan, what does this change?” You huffed in frustration, “You’re still holding me prisoner, I’m still under your control. I try to run again, you’ll only come after me. This doesn’t change anything between us.”

“Baby, you have to give me a chance not fucking run away from me.” What is he saying, is he fucking broken? You silently asked yourself what was going through his head.

The van slowed down to a stop, and you looked around worriedly.

“Simon!” Negan called through the thin sheet of plywood separating you from Simon in the driver’s cabin, “Are we good?”

“Yes boss, I’m sorry to have to stop but nature is fucking calling and that truck stop we saw on the way over is just up ahead. I remember you saying you wanted to check it out.” Simon replied.

“Fuck yeah, I did. We’ll take a rest. We’re about halfway home anyway.” Negan pushed himself up into a crouch to avoid bumping his head, pushed the doors open and jumped out of the van, before turning to face you. “Come on, I’m not going to lock you in here. Just stay with me.” He held his hand out to you, initially you hesitated but after a few seconds your fingers reached out and interlocked with Negan’s, you thought that you may as well suck it up – he was obviously going to win.

***

*NEGANS PERSPECTIVE*

When she took his hand, he felt a small wave of relief, clearly she wasn’t as angry with him as she tried to act. Negan helped her to hop down from the van, and she muttered a ‘Thank you, Negan,’ to him as he did.

She walked a little way away from him, taking in her surroundings quietly. He watched her carefully, Simon appeared at his shoulder, both hands on his hips.

“I can hear everything you’re saying you know that right?” He politely informed Negan.

“Then tell me how I’m doing, Simon.” Negan flashed a concerned smile.

“Better, but I hate to break it to you though, boss, she’s not gonna stick around with your wives… We are going to be chasing after her again real soon, I can tell. Speaking of wives – I’m sorry about Lucille, boss.” Simon left Negan alone with his thoughts, and walked towards the men from the other vehicles.

Simon was the only one of his men he couldn’t snap at, he could tell Negan the truth and he knew he could get away with it. Sometimes, this was a good thing.

“Hey, sweetheart. Shall we go and check out the petrol station? Probably fucking annihilated already, but who knows?” Negan suggested to Ashley, he noticed she looked conflicted, but she nodded and followed quietly. 

Negan was also conflicted. As he led her through the door and hit Lucille against the nearest metal surface to check the cost was clear, all he could think about was the possibility of having to make a choice between this young girl, and the other five women that he called his wives. What was he meant to do with her if she didn’t come around?

“Doesn’t sound like there’s anything to worry about in here.” She sighed and walked across the dusty store to an overturned magazine rack, where she picked up an old photography journal. Negan watched as she flicked through the pages, for the first time, he didn’t know what to do or what to say.  
When she clocked on that he was staring at her, she shrugged at him, “What...?”

Negan breathed in hard and sighed through gritted teeth, he approached her hastily and placed both of his hands on her shoulders, “You know what fucking gets me about you baby, you know you’ve got nothing to lose, and you’d rather be hurt out here on your own than be hurt by another living person. You’d trade in safety and security because you’re not getting exactly what you want, and you’d rather have nothing. We are so fucking different, and here I fucking am, just wanting to keep you safe.”

“No, Negan. You just want to ‘keep’ me, you don’t have feelings for me or any of those other women. That’s why I’d rather be alone, why be with someone who wouldn’t be heartbroken when you die? You’d just be pissed off that you lost another plaything but you’d get over it! I’m not a person to you, you wouldn’t mourn me and I wouldn’t mourn you.” She had a malice in her voice that made Negan want to tell her to ‘grow up’. She couldn’t understand it from his point of view, and he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to fall in love with the way the world was.

“You’ll fucking take that back one day, baby.” He raised his eyebrows at her, but she gave him no reaction, and his frustration grew. Negan put a hand on the back of her head and as he leaned in he guided her toward his lips swiftly, kissing her hard to try to elicit some kind of response from her. She began to kiss back momentarily before she pushed him gently away and turned her head.

“Baby girl,” Negan began, but she cut him off.

“Stop. Stop it. I don’t know what to do, Negan. I know you’re not all bad but you fucking hurt me. This isn’t about you killing people, I just can’t do this! Just let me go.” She started to sob.

Negan knew that the situation they were in wasn’t going to change, she wasn’t going to be any less upset no matter how soft he was being. He sighed in exasperation and gave up, taking her arm and leading her back to the van, she wiped her tears into the jumper she was wearing. This time, he took her into the driver’s cabin, there were three seats so he put her in the middle, joined her on the remaining seat on the passenger side and fixed her seat belt for her.

“Ashley… The world you knew is over, if you think I’m a bad guy in this scary new world then you are wrong. One day, you’ll have to make a choice like I did. I set an example to those people for killing my men, if I let those people live without setting an example, my community would be angry that we didn’t punish the people who killed our brothers. You’ll see, one day… I promise you.” Negan touched the side of her face and smiled as she sat in silence, he knew then that he was going to have to show her how it felt to be the one calling the shots.


	10. Three Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan strikes a deal with you after bringing you back from Alexandria to the Sanctuary, with the deal in place, you try to regain control of your situation.
> 
> (Ashley is a reader replaceable name, used for ease of writing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took a while delivering this chapter!
> 
> I was listening to 'Rollercoaster' by Bleachers (Strange Desires album) while I was writing this, so it enabled me to write Negan a little kinder. I feel like that's the kind of relationship developing in this story.

The journey back to Sanctuary felt long and awkward as you sat between Negan and Simon, with Simon trying to make jokes and Negan shooting him a side eye every so often, you had barely said a word. When the vehicles finally pulled up through the gates and everyone had their feet on the ground, after watching Negan’s people kneel to him as standard, you rolled your eyes and began to pace away from The Saviors and their leader.  
  
“Hold up just a hot second little miss,” Negan called after you, you stopped in your tracks and turned on one foot to look him in the eyes, “where the fuck do you think you’re going?” You saw Simon nudge him slightly in the back. Negan breathed in and pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed out audibly, with Lucille resting on his shoulder, he approached you steadily.  
“I’m not done with you, Ash.”

 

“Oh, shit. It’s _Ash_ now, is it?” You laughed and crossed your arms impatiently.

 

“You’re being given a job, it doesn’t involve a black dress. You can however, get rid of that gross as shit jumper you’re wearing…” Negan reached out to grab the hem of the green jumper that Eugene had given you to wear. Aggressively smacking his hand away, you pulled back from him.

 

“No! Get off it, I’m not taking it off.” You spat. Negan eyes you inquisitively.

 

“Someone back at Alexandria gave you that, someone who either took a shine to you, or you to them. They better not cross me in a hurry the next time I visit… You see Simon over there, he’s my right-hand man, you know that. I want you to know how it feels to be me, Simons job is the closest you can get to being me without actually being me. For the next few days, until I return to Alexandria, you’re gonna be Simon!” Negan grinned, showing off his perfectly perfect white teeth. You shook your head.

 

“What does that mean for me, Negan?”

 

“Here’s the deal. Three days. You give me three days. You shadow me like I’m Peter fuckin’ Pan, you see what I do and you do what I say, no exceptions. I go to Alexandria for a pickup in three days, if you choose to leave, you can be gone before I come back and I’ll forget that you even existed…” You raised your eyebrows at this proposal, it sounded too good to be true. Negan held his out his hand, his palm flattened and turned sideways, wanting you to shake a deal. You held out your own hand and met his with it, the sensation of his fingers wrapping around yours sent a chill down your spine, and you drew a sharp breath in as he pulled your body closer to his.

 

“Seeing as you’re going to get to be close to me for the next three days, how about a kiss to break the tension?” His tongue flicked out and traced his lips in anticipation, your eyes rolled again, “I promise I’ll call you by your name for three days and make no other advancements, if you kiss me now. Baby, for all I know it could be the last one I ever get from you.”

 

In a moment that seemed to make your surroundings disappear, you fell into him and pressed your lips to his hard, your hand finding its way to the back of his head and pulling him closer to you. He kissed back, with assertion rather than aggression, and as he pulled away first he laughed.

 

“You wanted that more than I did, Ashley. Go and settle back in, meet me in my office for supper, we’ve got shit to do. Simon! You’ve got from now until our pickup off, enjoy.” As he walked away, he swung Lucille at his side and in your confusion, you let butterflies race around in your stomach.

 

* * *

 

You had finally taken off the jumper that Eugene had given to you when you got back to the room Negan had originally placed you in. Thankful that Negan wasn’t around to witness Eugene giving you the jumper, you tucked it underneath your pillow to keep it hidden. You quietly wished you’d got to spend more time with Eugene, and maybe you could now, Negan had made a deal with you after all. You rolled your eyes at yourself and shook your head, thinking yourself stupid for believing that Negan would keep a deal he shook on, _what a joke_ you thought.

 

After a shower and a change of clothes, the evening was upon you and you’d have to meet Negan for supper soon. There was a knock at the door, thinking that it would be Negan, you called out. “What? Come in.” To your surprise, Simon opened the door and entered, smiling.

 

“Hey, I wanted to say thank you for getting me a few days off work, I appreciate it.”

 

“Wasn’t my idea, Simon. It was Negan’s, but you’re welcome anyway.” You shrugged, and attempted to return his smile.

 

“It’s not a hard job, you’re just following orders really. Keeping track of people and keeping an eye on shit. You’ll have a good time…” Simon looked as though he was about to leave, but quickly spoke up, “He was really worried about you, when you ran away.” As you turned quickly to look at him, he looked awkward.

 

“What?” You asked quizzically.

 

“He… don’t get me wrong he really likes his wives, you’re just a little different, and he knows that. I shouldn’t uh, be saying this to you but… he knows you’re strong willed, stronger than the other women. He likes you more, as a person, but he can’t separate that from liking you as a woman too. Just… just think about that, okay?” Simon stuttered.

 

“Simon, if he really liked me then –“

 

“Yeah, he’d get rid of his wives for you and not be so mean, I know. You don’t have to tell me. Just, don’t fucking say I said this to you, alright. I don’t want to lose my tongue or my hand or some shit. See you around.” He sighed and left your room and, as he closed the door behind him, you wondered if he was serious when he implied that Negan was intimidated by you for being strong willed.

 

Gathering yourself and your thoughts, you made your way slowly to Negan’s quarters for supper as he had instructed. Not knowing what Negan’s game plan was, you felt anxiety creep up on you as you dawdled lazily through the hallways.

 

“You taking your time on fucking purpose?” Negan’s booming voice echoing from behind you made you stumble over your own feet.

 

“Negan, Jesus Christ, have some decorum please.” You huffed with your hand over your racing heart.

 

“Fucking hell babe -uh, Ashley. I didn’t think you’d startle so easy, someone with the balls to run away from me like that surely isn’t that easy to scare?” He laughed, and you saw he didn’t have Lucille with him. You took him in for a moment with your eyes, he looked different, he was actually wearing slacks. Black, cotton jogging bottoms that unintentionally hugged his crotch, gently teasing his manhood and a tight grey v neck t-shirt, showing off his chest. He still had combat boots on you noticed, just as he noticed your stare, and his eyes followed yours.

 

“You fucking pervert, I thought we had a deal?” His lips curled into a grin.

 

“I, I just… You look normal. I’m not used to seeing you dressed down. I’m sorry.” You looked up to meet his eyes at eye level this time, and he chuckled.

 

“Come on, we’ve got some shit to talk about. While you were taking a shower, and prettying yourself, I got a little information. We’ll talk about it in my office.” He gestured for you to follow him as he took off in front of you, you matched his pace.

 

“Information?” You quizzed.

 

“The walls have eyes and ears, and they see things and they talk. Nothing gets past me.”

 

Negan’s office was tidy and formal, it conveniently connected to his living area, bedroom and his own private bathroom. His own little paradise nestled in his kingdom. You had eaten dinner with him in the adjacent room once before, but you had not been into his office. He pulled a chair out for you at his desk, and proceeded to remove two short tumbler glasses before looking back to you, “What do you want to drink? It’s going to be straight whatever it is so choose wisely.”

 

“Uhh…” You thought for a moment, “Rum?”

 

As he poured, he sighed.

 

“I heard this evening that there was an incident while you and I were both outside of Sanctuary. An assault. My people know the rules, and they know what happens if they are broken, you however, do not know what happens yet. Tomorrow morning there’s going to be an assembly in the main hall, the perpetrator is currently in a cell, but tomorrow he’s going to be punished.” Negan spoke in the most calm but serious tone you had heard him speak with since you first met, everything else he had ever said had always seemed theatrical. This was sincere. He set a glass down in front of you, motioning for you to drink, and took his own seat.

 

“What did he do?” You asked before you took a sip of the sweet liquor, it ran down your throat, warming you pleasantly.

 

“He snatched a gun from one of my men, lost his shit and started firing. No one was hurt, but it shook my people, and he aimed at my men. I need to restore order. If my people start to think it’s okay to start open firing whenever they feel like it, we’ve got a problem.” Negan swigged his own liquor, it looked like whiskey.

 

“Are your people unhappy?” You asked earnestly.

 

“Ash, when is anyone ever completely happy? I expect them to be grateful.”

 

“Are you happy, Negan?”

 

Negan raised his eyebrows and smirked, “Did you come here to honor our deal, or to dig deep into my soul?” He mocked.

 

“Both. You wanted me to get to know you, then let me,” You drank again, remembering what Simon had said to you earlier on, “You want me to stay, Negan? Give me a reason to.”


End file.
